Act Less Shy
When you are shy or suffer from social anxiety, it is incredibly difficult to face any sort of social situation. You do your best to interact with others, but the prospect is frightening. No matter what you do, you cannot alleviate your anxiety or worry. How can you possibly meet people or make friends? It is a difficult situation. In this article, I will divulge the secret of how to become more outgoing. Indeed, I will show you the way to act your way into more outgoing habits with people.
Let me give you an example. There was a time when the name, Arnold Schwarzenegger was unknown. He was a peasant from Austria, not Mr. Universe, nor a well-paid movie star, or governor of California. But think about the process he must have undergone to become who he now is. Back when Arnold was an unknown person who decided that he would hold the crown of Mr. Universe, there was a moment when he claimed the prize. From that moment on, he acted as if he were already Mr. Universe. From that point on, he knew exactly what actions to take because he behaved just as he imagined Mr. Universe would behave. Mr. Universe would drink a dozen eggs for protein in the morning. Mr. Universe would lift weights for five hours a day. Mr. Universe would avoid beer. Every little decision was set against the action that Mr. Universe would take, because, of course, Arnold was already being Mr. Universe.
Can you see how this could apply to any situation? If Arnold could act “as if” he were Mr. Universe, couldn’t you act “as if” you were a bold, un-shy person? Probably such a person would attend parties dressed to the hilt, be the center of attention, and boldly engage many others in conversation.
A self-proclaimed “self-help junkie” contributed this article in hopes of being helpful to all of you. It’s about acting less shy as a baby step toward being less shy.
Luckily, we are human beings with free will and choice and we can act “as if” any time we want. We can change any time we desire. And, you can literally play the role of a person you wish you were like to get you started. Indeed, you can put on an imagined persona to help you see what it would feel like to be someone else. Over time, however, if you continue to practice being a person you wish you were, the acting will eventually become a new habit, integrated into how you normally behave.
Action Step: Create a character in your head of how you wish you were. If you could be a bold, noble, and courageous person, how would that person act? Get specific. What would this person eat for breakfast? Who would be his friend? How would he dress? How often would he work out at the gym? The gift of being a human being is that you are changeable and that you have free will. You can choose to change at any time. This doesn’t mean it isn’t scary. So what could you do to begin to employ this change today?
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It takes more than not acting shy to get over your shyness. I’m still shy (and introverted as well), but what has helped me in my journey to become more socially adept is combination of exposure, positive self-talk, therapy and perhaps most importantly, social skills training. You can act as if you’re not shy all you want, that’s not going to help you start or maintain a conversation, and it won’t help you with the rumination and brutal self-criticism that may follow in the wake of your social adventure.
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