Shy People and Dating
Most people in this world want to build a life with someone and yearn for meaningful relationships, especially a romantic and lifelong partnership with someone else. But no one can have a committed relationship or marriage if they don’t take the first step and begin dating. If you consider yourself to be shy, it may be especially difficult to make the first move toward any relationship. Indeed, you may be paralyzed with fear to a degree that causes you to avoid the risk of sharing who you really are with another human being. So how can a shy person overcome that fear and begin to date?
Let’s first look at what it means to be shy. The definition of “shy” is to be wary, suspicious, or timid, to recoil in fear, or to be easily frightened. It is basically to lack confidence around others. But shy traits can interfere with your attempt to attract someone into your life, because there is nothing more attractive than a confident person.
Often it is because we compare ourselves to others that we lack confidence. We fear that we are lacking in something, somehow. But the truth is we are all unique and different, with our own special talents and gifts. We are all perfectly imperfect human beings. As we begin to embrace the special qualities that only we possess, the need to compare ourselves to others dissolves away. The trick is to find our own inner confidence in who we are.
Here’s a question; can you list five things that you love about yourself? How about ten? How about one-hundred? If not, why not? The more things you can find to appreciate about yourself without the need for external validation, the more confident you will become. And the more confident you become, the more attractive you are. Also, the more confident you are, the more willing you are to risk introducing yourself to another person.
So what is holding you back from acknowledging those things that are great about you? If you don’t accept your greatness, who will? It is up to you to decide who you are, and who you want to become. You are responsible for all the results in your life, so if you want to begin dating, you have control over that too. Regardless of whether you consider yourself to be shy you have it within you to find confidence and to take the first step toward dating.
Suggested Activity: Create that list of twenty-one things that you love and appreciate about yourself. Post it boldly in your house where you will see it often. Take the time to acknowledge all that is great about you. It may take more than one sitting to generate all twenty-one items on your list. Once it is complete pick five and share them with a trusted friend. Say each quality out loud using the phrase, “I am a (put your quality here) man (or woman). An example phrase looks like this, “I am a courageous, joyful, strong, independent, and fun woman.” After you declare who you are to your friend, have them say back to you, “Yes you are.”
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